That's life
by the Minotaur
Summary: Hades has a wierd life. But this is a special day.T for language. it is nolonger a one shot because I had fun writing that.
1. Hades

Ok here's a one shot about Gabe and Hades

**Ok here's a one shot about Gabe and Hades. Meant to be funny.R&R!**

I groaned. The worst part of being ruler of the underworld was the retarded idiots who think they can tell me where to put others.

"Hey! Mr. Big-shot! I'm talking to you!" Gabe Ugliano. One of the stupidest, ugliest _ BLACK BLOBS _ in the underworld. Honestly. He's just a blob, and yet just looking at him makes me want to hurl my cookies.

"Hello! I'm talking to you!" the idiot. If only I was allowed to toss random people into Tartarus. "Look, Gabe, I don't care that you hate the guy in the cell next to you. The reason you're in the _Fields of Punishment_" Here I put an emphasis on those words. "Is because you need to be punished. So go back, and when your time of punishment is up, then you can return to the fields of asphodel." I sighed exasperated, as he ranted on, despite my words. "Who do you think you are? I lived a bad life, and now the after life is worse? I am tired of this punishment. I want to talk to the head here, not just you." Again, I sighed. "Gabe how many times do I have to tell you? I am the head here."

He growled. "Stop lying! I hate it when people lie!" I rolled my eyes. I stood, stepped towards him, and grabbed him. A guard handed me a rope. Wait. I didn't ask for a rope. Oh. Yeah. I do this almost everyday. He's probably used to it. I expertly tied Gabe into a ball, then was about to drag him off, when I had an idea. I whistled, and my chariot, pulled by pitch black horses, arrived at my feet. I tied a strand of rope around the pull loop on the back, tied Gabe to the other end of the rope, then hopped onto my chariot. I gave thereins a whip, and the horses flew off, dragging Gabe in the dirt. Suddenly, my son Nico, appeared in the chariot. "Hi dad, what you doing?" I laughed, and pointed behind me. "Cool. Can I see the reins?" I handed him the reins. He changes course, headed towards the river Styx. "Nico what are you doing?" I inquired, wondering if I shouldn't have given him the reins. "You'll see, dad. This thing does float, right?" Oh. Yeah. I forgot about that. "Yep. Go faster." I grinned. My son was insane, but extremely funny. We flew full force into the water, making such a wave that we capsized Charon's ferry. Watch him come complaining about that. I turned to see a rope leading into the water, and no Gabe in sight. Oh, happy day! Just then, an Iris message appeared above me. It was my brother, Zeus. "Hades, we don't usually invite you to emergency meetings, but this concerns you." Just then, a huge splash of water slammed into the message. "What are you doing?" he asked sounding furious. I gulped. He got really pissed, and it was not pretty. "Um. Spending quality time with my son?" Whatever. Just get over here." And with that, my perfect day was over. "Bye, Nico. Drag Gabe through whatever you want." He nodded. "Bye, dad." He averted his eyes, and I disappeared to Olympus.

"Well, the reason Hades is here is because now we need to prepare Tartarus… Again." Zeus began. "Yes, and the security needs to be" Athena started, but never finished because Nico, Percy Annabeth, and Thalia came bursting through the door, on my chariot, still dragging Gabe. "WWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOO!" they screamed.

"HHAAAAAAADDDDDDDDEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!" Zeus roared. I was in for it.

**What do you think? Should I make more? TELL ME! REVIEW!**


	2. Hermes

It was April fools' day

It was April fools' day. I, Hermes, love this day. I get to run around, pranking people. I knew for a fact that I had an unclaimed son named Luke in my cabin. I decided to have some fun, while still claiming the boy. I dressed up in a Darth Vader costume, and poofed over to camp Half-blood. I pulled out my lightsaber, and headed over the arena, where the kids were practicing their sword fighting. The current cabin leader, Leroy, noticed me, and probably assumed it was me. I tended to pull off this type of stunt. He turned to me. "So, Darth, what brings you here?" I turned on the voice changer. "I challenge Luke Castellan." Luke stepped forward, and readied his sword. "Go!" Leroy called. I swung, and he parried, then counter attacked. I blocked, and forced him into defense. We kept going until finally I saw his foot work was weak. I tripped him, and put my lightsaber at his throat. He then kicked me in the soft spot. I doubled over. The boy kicks _hard_. He knocked the lightsaber out of my hand, and put his sowrd at my throat. I fought back laughter as I spoke as calmly as I could. "Luke. I am your father." Leroy burst out laughing. He walked over and pulled off my helmet. "Hey!" I shouted. He just ruined my stunt! Leroy ignored me, and explained. "Luke, you've just been claimed by Hermes. He made a stupid stunt to claim me too." Luke stared at me. "That was… retarded!" Soon, the entire arena was filled with laughter. Then stupid Dionysus showed up. "Hermes what are you doing here?" I frowned. "Claiming my child. Is that illegal now?"

"Whatever, just don't bother me." He turned and left. The nerve of that guy! I turned to Luke. "You didn't like that?" he thought for a moment before saying. "That was pretty funny. What did you do for Leroy?"

I smiled. "I called him to Olympus, saying that he stole something. He arrived, and I congratulated him. I got a couple of crazy looks, but I reminded them that I was the god of thieves, and then they ignored me, but Leroy was still scared. I claimed him, and that was the end." I placed my hand on Leroy's shoulder. He was almost as tall as me now. "Scariest moment of my life, too." He added. "I thought that he thought that I stole something of his, and he was going to kill me." I laughed. "Oh, now my dad's laughing at me." Leroy spoke sarcastically. I ignored that comment. I knew my kids loved me. Who couldn't resist the amazing being that is me? So that's my story of claiming Luke. Bye!

**Ha! That was fun.**


	3. Artemis

Ok, this is just so much fun to write it's not even funny

**Ok, this is just so much fun to write it's not even funny. Actually, what I write is supposed to be funny, so please let it be funny! I made a flippy book! It's about a weird komodo dragon that eats a stick guy. My friends love it! And I got a math question on a test wrong because I put x instead of n. So unfair! On with the story!**

So here I was, innocent Artemis, going into a 7-11 store, and some police guy thinks I'm a kid skipping school! For crying out loud, it's noon! Ever heard of lunch time? It happens around now! Sheesh! So he drops me off at some random school, and takes off. Then some teacher comes up to me. "Hello, what's your name?" I try to ignore her. She just keeps going, though. "You must be new. Come, I'll register you." She takes me strait to some sixth grade classroom, and ditches me. I check the clock. 1:00. Great. The teacher of that classroom says. "Hello, I am Mrs. Terell. Welcome. What is your name?" Then I hear her voice in my head. _Hello, Lady Artemis, I am Keira, daughter of Athena. How'd you manage to get shoved in here? Also, there is another demigod here. _I mouthed an ok, and turned to the class. I'm Thalia." I borrowed my lieutenant's name, because Artemis isn't really that common. Mrs. Terell pointed me to a desk next to who I assumed to be the demigod. Once the lesson continued, I whispered to the child. "You're a demigod, right?" the kid nodded. "Hayley Mc Derrick, daughter of Apollo." I smiled. "I am Artemis, but I can't manage to get out of here." She snuck a glance at me. "The teacher's a"

"A daughter of Athena, I know." Sure I interrupted. So what?

"What about Mist manipulation?" she questioned. "The Mist is really thin here. I'd have to pull it from miles around to get out of here." Hayley nodded. Then, Mrs. Terell spoke very loudly. "Ok, now everyone, turn to your Greek Mythology books. I made some books appear in front of me. "now everyone, we will be doing a project on your favourite greek god. Pick one, flip to their page, and get started. Jimmy, I need to talk to you." A boy stood and exited the classroom. I noticed Hayley turning immediately to Apollo's page. I smirked, and turned to the Artemis page. Hayley laughed. "We're very typical. I smiled at my niece. Then Mrs. Terell returned. "Thalia, Hayley, can you both pack your bags, your parents have come for you." Hayley's face lit up, but I was concerned that my dad was actually here. We walked out, and lucky me, all that was there was Apollo. Hayley ran to him. "Dad!" He picked her up, spun her in a circle, and set her down. "Are we going to camp, dad?" she asked. "Yep, and Artemis, Thalia is pissed that you disappeared on them." Of course, said person had to come around the corner at that time. "Artemis! Where'd you go?" I blushed. "Some police thought I was skipping school and dropped me here. Good thing that the teacher is a demigod, because the Mist here is really thin." She laughed. "Let's go, Carrie managed to slice of her thumb, so you might want to fix that." Apollo snickered. "You can't leave them alone for one second, hey?" I laughed, but then we heard voices around the corner. "I'm not going back to class."

Hayley frowned. "Me neither."

"What? Who said?" Apollo frowned. Why aren't you going back to class?"

"Because I already finished my greek god project." She smiled. Apollo, thought for a moment before saying. "Who's your project on?" Hayley laughed. "You, dad, who'd you think?" I watched their conversation continue on, before I motioned to Thalia, who followed me out. My family is so weird.

**That was fun. What's scary is that my Social/ French teacher fits the Athena kid description perfectly. Really weird. **


End file.
